You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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