my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
