is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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