Where is the hickey?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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