i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
