It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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