Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
