No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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