I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
