I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
