I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
