Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
