They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
