she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
