she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
