so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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