my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize