i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I need a beard to bite.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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