I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
