i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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