I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
