when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
