either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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