Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
