and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
