I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my shit smells like andre
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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