Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great