I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.