This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.