I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize