He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
