Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
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He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
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I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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