I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
