He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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