please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
