Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
