He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
