theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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