Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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