I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
