I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
