alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
