I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
