I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
