Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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