I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
and she was petting her beer can
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
