I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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