are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
