I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
