I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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