so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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