Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My bed smells like the plague
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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