it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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