Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
