I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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