I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
