she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
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Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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