it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
