and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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