I can't watch pbs sober anymore
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
