I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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