She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
