Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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